


A new start

by CharlyImperial



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Aggressive Hawke, M/M, Modern AU, mentions of Mad Max, mentions of Mass Effect, mentions of light abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-07 19:11:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4274760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlyImperial/pseuds/CharlyImperial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Left heartbroken Fenris and Anders meet in the Hanged Man and both decide it is time for a new start.<br/>If only Hawke didn´t try to pull the strings in the background with a evil intention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The loud buzzing of music and the smell of sweat and beer was filling the room completely. Even the light chatter left was just a silent rumbling that drowned away into the music.  
It was the middle of the week and most people here probably had to go to work tomorrow morning – Not that this ever stopped anybody from drinking and dancing in the Hanged Man. 

Anders was sitting at one of the small tables more far to the back. The beer in his hand was not cold anymore, but piss-warm, because he had completely forgotten about it. His gaze was mostly fixed on Hawke who was dancing in the middle of the room with this guy he had met a few weeks ago. What was his name again? Cullen? He was a cop if Anders remembered correctly – Stuck up and shy, making him wonder what Hawke found so interesting about him.  
Still, for some odd reason, Hawke was head over heals for the guy and watching them dance and kiss was breaking Anders´ heart.  
He should not feel this way. Garrett had never been his. 

His mobile started to vibrate on the table. Really, his phone was too old – One of those old Nokias that probably would survive anything, like a cockroach. Most people were laughing at him that he was still using this, but he simply had no money for a smartphone. All that he earned he put back into his clinic and he was okay with it. Smartphones were unneeded luxery after all. 

Anders clicked the button on his Nokia and read the new message Justice had send him – Asking him where he was.  
It was true that he had chosen to flee his responsibilities for one night. Only one night! It was maddening. Justice never let him have any free time.  
If he was not working full-time as a Doctor, Justice would let him write on his Manifesto on his blog, plan Underground demonstrations or do flyers.. Anders was barely getting any sleep these days.  
.. At least it was keeping him from thinking too much about Hawke. 

Instead of answering the message, Anders took a sip of his beer and made face about its taste. 

Next to him a chair was pushed and a smaller man let himself slump into it.  
He, just like Anders, was watching Hawke and Cullen with a bitter expression. 

"I don´t understand that. Look at his hair! It looks like.. those.. cheap instant-noodles you get at Asia-Markets." Fenris growled angrily, before he kept drinking from his own bottle of beer. 

"Absolutely." Anders laughed bitterly in return. "Hawke could have had better. He had enough options after all." Oh, Anders had no illusions about that. He was aware that Merrill and Fenris, too, had their eyes on Hawke.  
But then Merrill and Isabela hook up – which left himself and Fenris nearly angrily fight over Hawke´s attention.  
It had ruined whatever relationship they could have had completely. Maybe that was the reason Hawke had turned away from them as well. 

"If he had chosen you, I would still be irritated, but at least it would have been somewhat.. understandable." The white-haired man growled and waved his hand as if he was looking for words.  
Anders´ eyes finally left Hawke when he had heard that. If he didn´t know Fenris would rather bite off his own tongue than be nice to him, he would nearly say this had been somewhat of a compliment.  
"Because Im that good-looking? Dashing really! And smart. And damn, Im a master in the bedroom!" The doctor chuckled amused, mostly to mock the other man in his usual manner. 

"Oh, shut up you git." Fenris rolled his eyes, but looked over to Anders now as well.  
Their eyes met and as if they had exchanged silent words, both of them sighed at the same time.  
They were in the same situation after all.  
Heartbroken and without any chance for Hawkes attention again, anytime soon. 

What should they do? Sulk and suffer? Watch Hawke and Cullen´s relationship from afar, while drinking their bitterness away? 

Both of them turned their sight back on the dancing couple and if anybody was watching them in return, they could have seen that both of them were deep in thought at that moment. 

"Hey Fenris?" Anders asked after a moment, "Its my first free evening in weeks and im sick of seeing those two have their fun. .. How is it – Wanna go and watch a movie?"  
The doctor expected Fenris to laugh about him, mock him or be angry at him. They weren´t exactly friends and the last months had left them with nothing but angry mocking each other. 

"..Sure." 

That was not exactly the answer that Anders had been counting on. And indeed for a moment he managed to do nothing but stare at the elf a bit dumbly. 

"What movie do you have in mind?" Fenris pressed further, mildly irritated by Anders´ empty staring. 

"Ah. How about Mad Max? I´ve heard the new movie is really good." The blond man finally managed to say and got up, still surprised that the elf was actually doing the same and joining him. 

"I like a good action-movie. So sure, why not?" Fenris sighed, large eyes watching the doctor as they left the Hanged Man.  
None of them recognized, that Hawke was watching them leave somewhat angrily. 

+-+-+-+

It was awkward. Weird.  
Everywhere in that blasted Cinema were couples. While they were standing in the line for tickets and later, for popcorn, a couple was standing in front of them – And one behind them. They were literally everywhere. 

"Ugh, I hate when they do this." Fenris muttererd under his breath, as one couple couldn´t keep waiting the five minutes in line without kissing. 

"Hey, lets annoy them back and kiss too." Anders joked, and only earned a light punch to his shoulder as an answer. Well, not so light – This would bruise tomorrow. 

When they were finally sitting in the cinema hall, waiting for the movie to start, again they could see tiny kisses and cheeky hands rubbing over legs if they glanced left and right. 

"Is the whole blasted city in love?" It was Fenris again who complained bitterly. 

"Obviously not. There is us complaining." Anders smirked with his mouth half-full of popcorn. 

"... Ah, yes. If you say so." 

The doctor blinked, wondering what he should make out of that answer. Fenris wasn´t considering himself still in love with Hawke, now that that chapter clearly was over, was he?  
Or had he someone new to look out for already?

Anders smiled a bit, hidden away in the dark of the cinema hall. Even though they never got along, he would be happy for Fenris if he was newly in love.  
The elf had a hard live, just like himself, and deserved a bit of happiness. Besides, Anders was not blind and just a man after all, the elf was very cute. Large eyes, small nose, full lips and those muscles of him – Who would not fall for that sooner or later, right? 

Anders started to laugh, which made Fenris´ head snap to him in confusion.  
"What?" 

"Oh, I just thought the line between two friends going to see a movie and a date, is just what we would call it right?" 

".. Friends..?" 

"Oh, excuse me. Archenemies any better? Two companions who don´t even like each other? Two heartbroken, bitter blokes who-" 

"Date. How about Date?" 

Again it was Anders who couldn´t help but stare at Fenris in disbelieve. 

"Ah.. forget what I said. I.. I think the movie starts soon." Fenris quickly added, looking away, clearly assuming Anders´ silence had been a ´no´. 

"We dont even like each other..? Or at least I thought we dont?" The doctor quickly mumbled, wanting to understand what just happened. 

"Speak for yourself." The elf snarled angrily, "You´re an annoying, dumb idiot – yes. But I don´t hate you. .. You´re.. doing good. With the clinic I mean. You´re funny when you want to. .. I just thought.. I thought I could imagine us.." 

"Us?" Anders now smiled, "Aww Fenris has a crush on me! Of all people!" 

The elf suddenly jumped up from his seat and was about to leave angrily. He should have guessed that Anders would only make fun of him for being honest. As if that wasn´t extremely difficult after the history both of them shared.  
Of course it was weird – Of course! But after Fenris had given up on Hawke, which was even much before Cullen happened, he had started to realize that Anders wasn´t as bad as his jealously had made him think he was. He was kind, had a big heart, good humour and was more than easy on the eyes. Fenris had hoped if Anders would let go of Hawke too.... 

The blond reached out to get a hold of Fenris´ wrist quickly.  
"Hey..! That was a joke Fenris..! Im sorry, that was.. rude." Anders quickly admitted and gently pulled the elf back to his seat.  
"How about this: We start over again?" He smiled and reached out with his hand as if he wanted to shaked Fenris´.  
"Hello stranger. Im Anders. I work as a doctor in the Darktown clinic, I have a cat, my husband died 6 years ago and I was unhappily in love for the longest time. I think im ready for something new. And you are?" 

Fenris grumbled and rolled his eyes, not really answering the man. Only after Anders stayed stubborn, the elf shook the other mans hand to play along.  
"... Fenris. Unemployed, Memory-loss, basically living in a borrowed House. Can you start something new with that?" 

"Oh, I can work with that yes. Lets watch this movie and have something to eat then, okay? If you´re friendly I might invite you to coffee and introduce you to Ser Pounce." 

"Please not that cat. He hates me..." 

Whatever talking happened afterwards was overshadowed by Mad Max starting to screen in the dark cinema hall.


	2. Chapter 2

The Moment the door had closed with a little sound, Ser Pounce-a-lot came running to greet his human.  
With a little mrrp-sound he climbed onto the mans lap since Anders had slided down the door to sit on the floor directly.

"Hello, Ser Pounce." Anders greeted his cat back, rubbing his orange fur gently. "You would not believe what happend to me today. I had a date you see? The most weird date I´ve ever had."  
The cat only showed mild interest in his humans talking but Anders kept babbling, instead of giving him his food like usual.

"It wasn´t even a actual date. We just decided watching this movie could be a date after all. He was so shy Ser Pounce - Can you imagine that? Gave me an awkward goodbye-hug and walked away quickly then. But we will do this again. Another date. A real one this time. Wow.. who would have thought. Fenris of all people. This is kind of exciting. He was the last person I would have expected to show interest in me."

Finally Anders lifted his pet into his arms and got up again, before he walked over to his tiny kitchen and opened a can of catfood.

"What do you think, pretty? Is that a good idea? I fear he´s playing some cruel trick on me. Maybe he is lying? He claimed to hate me for so long after all. But.. hnng.. I need this. Attention I mean. After Hawke..."  
Ser Pounce-a-lot only mewled at Anders before he started eating and left the man alone with his fears and thoughts.  
Anders decided to be careful. He had his heart broken just yet - He wouldn´t risk a 2nd one in such a short time.

+~+~+~

A broken leg, a woman with bellyaches, a old man that fainted for no reason, someone was bitten by a dog...  
The clinic was running over with patients and Justice had taken care that Anders needed to look at twice as many people as usual.  
As a punishment, because Anders had dared to take a free day after weeks.

Running from one room to the other, talking to patients, sewing wounds shut and poking them with needles, the hours passed by and Anders didn´t even had time to eat something.  
After a while he felt like fainting from exhaustion and hunger, but he kept going.  
It was in the early evening when he dared to take a few bites of the apple he had taken with him from home, when he checked his old Nokia.

There were two new messages by Fenris.

When was the last time somebody had written him a shortmessage? Not even Hawke did that regulary.

 _"How are you?"_  
Was the simple first message, send somewhere around 1pm.

 _"Busy day at work I assume."_  
Was the next message, that was only send about half an hour ago.

Anders smiled about how short and emotionless those sounded, but was touched that Fenris thought about him at all.  
So maybe he really planned to meet him again? Maybe he was serious after all. He had never written him before. Anders was surprised he had his phonenumber saved at all.

 _"Very busy. I have nearly no time to eat :( "_  
Anders answered him, taking a bite off his apple finally.

To his surprise Fenris even answered pretty quickly only a few minutes later. The doctor was reminded that the elf was, in fact, unemployed and probably sat at home with nothing to do right now.  
Anders wished Fenris would finally look for some work, because he feared the elf would do something stupid in his own boredom. But mental health was the reason Fenris felt himself not capable of working at the moment. Not that they ever talked a lot, but he knew that Fenris suffered from heavy anxiety after all that had happened to him in his past. If the elf wasn´t so stubborn, the doctor wished to help him with that.

 _"When are you finished working? I could come by with pizza."_  
Fenris must be very bored, Anders thought, but the idea made him smile again.  
Even if it was just because of boredom - It felt good that somebody took care of him after all this time. Not, that he was not able to do this himself, but...

_"In 2 hours. Can you get me something without meat? :D you´re adorable, Fen!"_

_"Call me adorable again and I get you the most meat-y pizza I can find, you bloody veggie."_  
Anders laughed about that, before he put his phone away again and finished his work with a, seldomly seen, wide smile on his face.

+~+~+~

It was pitch black outside aleady when Anders left the clinic. He shivered in the cold wind, looking around and calling himself a fool.  
Fenris was nowhere to be seen, and he was waiting for a few minutes already.  
The elf had lied to him hadn´t he? He would not come.

Anders cursed the other mans name, as he turned away and wanted to hurry home. How could he have been so stupid?  
But the doctor was stopped when he heard his name being called.

Turning around he could see Fenris running towards him with two boxes of pizza in his hand.  
"Im late..! The damn pizza-guy decided he had to take 20 different orders at once and took forever to make those." The elf quickly explained, showing Anders the boxes to support his excuse. 

The doctor laughed a bit in relieve, a bit irritated about himself that he had gotten so angry so quickly. They probably still needed to learn to trust each other to some point. Just that trust was something that would need time and much work after all. Especially with the history they shared. 

For now the blond man was just glad that Fenris was here after all.  
"I was worried already." He admitted, "Glad you´re here. Lets go to my apartment, okay?"  
He could see Fenris, again, avoiding to really look at him, but nodding and follwing him quickly.  
They both wanted to escape the cold as quickly as they could.  
When they reached the apartment and Ser Pounce-a-lot greeted Anders the usual manner, Fenris smirked a bit about the doctor bending down to the pet and cooing at it with such a, nearly, motherly tenderness. 

"I will just quickly give him his food, okay? The living-room is over there. Go make yourself comfortable." Anders smiled at his guest, before he vanished to the kitchen.  
In the corner of his eye he could see Fenris walking towards the room a bit awkwardly and clearly somewhat uncomfortable after all.  
Time. Yes, they would really need time to warm up with each other. But Anders couldn´t help to grow excited over the thought of eating dinner with Fenris, alone in his livingroom. Who knew what the elf had in mind after all? 

After he had taken care of Ser Pounce, Anders checked his mobile one last time, only to find a message by Hawke. 

_"Come meet me."_

The doctor froze. Meeting Hawke? Had something happened?  
His heart started to beat wildly and his sight fell to the door to his livingroom. He could not let Fenris sit there alone. But he wanted to see Hawke..?  
No, this was foolish. Hawke was with that Cullen-guy. He should not act like a lovesick teenager and follow his call without any doubt.  
He should not. 

Anders brushed his hair back and shook his head before he put his phone aside. No. He would eat with Fenris now and finally start new. Hawke had no control over him anymore.  
What counted was, what would now happen with that handsome elf on his couch, on which he joined him just moments later..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not forgotten about Hawke, but I needed to flesh things out a bit. 
> 
> Thanks for all the positive feedback! Pumped me so much i directly sat down and wrote this chapter :D [see - feedback is important ;P]  
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear im usually not that fast - But for now im having fun with this story so I keep the chapters going as I can :)  
> Thank you for all the motivating feedback! 
> 
> Also: I will add tags as they come and set this up to mature just in case there is some love happening at some point ;D who knows.

Fenris had placed his jacked on the chair that was standing by Anders´ desk and the pizzaboxes a tiny table by the couch.  
He looked around, but directly to Anders when the man joined him in the living-room. 

"Everything, okay? You look like you have seen a ghost." The elf said a bit bluntly. 

Anders sighed and came to sit down and reach for his pizza-box. He was very hungry after his full day of work, with much work-load, and only an apple in his stomach. It really was time he got something warm and tasty into him.  
"I´ve got a message by Hawke." 

"Hawke..?" Fenris directly fell into the other mans sentence, because it surprised him as much as it had Anders. The elf, too, reached for his pizza and opened the box. It was still warm and the smell directly filled up the whole room. 

"He wants to meet me. Which is.. weird. I´ve rarely gotten a message by him in those last years and if he wanted to meet, he usually just knocked at my door and came by to see me in the clinic. I wonder if something happened." The doctor explained and finally took a large bite off his vegetarian pizza. He couldn´t quite hold back a tiny moan of pleasure when he tasted the cheesy deliciousness on his tongue. 

"So you want to go and meet him now?" There was a hint of sadness in Fenris´ voice that he coudln´t quite hold back. After all he came here to see Anders and not only force down a pizza and leave again. That would be rather disappointing. 

"No, I´ve put my phone on silent and away. He knows im working – or was working, and that im not his puppy to run after him whenever he calls. If it was something really bad he would have written that, right? .... Or am I egoistic?" The blond wondered out loud, after he had finished his first slice. 

"No, you´re doing the right thing. Im glad you don´t just run after him like this." Fenris said, smiling a bit at the other man, before he quickly looked away again and kept eating the rest of his late dinner.  
"So.. How was work?" 

Anders was touched when he heard the elf asking him this. Rarely anybody ever asked him. After a while people usually got sick of his endless chatter about what people he had met today and how they represented what was going wrong in their system. How the Church itself was opressing people who needed its help, instead of actually helping them. People often called him preachy and annoying and showed little to not interest in his Underground work or blog.  
Usually Fenris was part of those people but.. Maybe he wanted to give him a good feeling after all. Maybe he should just casually talk about his day and keep the ´preaching´ a bit back for once.

And indeed the man tried his best to just keep the chat lightly. He told Fenris of the patient who had a broken bone, because he fell over his own pet. And the guy who had used glue as lube instead of actual lube.  
Anders was happy to see that Fenris even chuckled about his stories and actually seemed to listen. It felt so good to have just a normal talk for once.  
"And what did you do today?" Anders then asked the elf, putting his, now empty, pizza-box on top of Fenris´ on the table. 

"Uh, I.." The white-haired scratched his neck a bit embarrassed, "I.. played a lot of this game. Its an RPG that plays in space. You kind of have your own crew, you´re the Commander and you can even romance people and-" 

"Romance?" Anders smirked, "I wouldn´t have guessed that you´re the kind who plays games that include.. romance." 

"Tsk, come on – Its not the main-aspect of the Game and my heart is not made of stone either." Fenris gruffed at the man, wishing he could have told a better story. There was just nothing really happening in his life. That was, when he wasn´t getting drunk with Hawke, or phoning Isabela, only to hear her praising how amazing Merrill was and that he should finally look out for someone too. Little did she know that he was looking out already. 

Anders saw that he could easily mock the other one here, but decided to not do it – Unlike he usually did.  
"The movie yesterday was great, wasn´t it?" He changed the topic, "I liked Furiosa the most. .. We could watch another movie if you want to? I have some DVD´s." 

Fenris cleared his throat a bit and looked over to the shelf that had, indeed, quite an impressive collection of DVD´s on it.  
"How about a Horror-movie this time? Do you have anything?" 

The blond stood up and walked over to his shelf. "Oh yes – I have Poltergeist and Nightmare on Elm Street. Classics really. Lets watch Poltergeist." He suggested and reached for the movie, only to start it a moment later. 

When the title-screen flashed on the Tv in front of them, Anders went back and sat down next to Fenris again – Clearly more close than he sat before. Wouldn´t hurt to test his luck a bit, right?  
"Will you protect me if I get scared?" Anders cooed and pressed play, before he looked at Fenris. 

The elf could feel heat creep up his long ears, and he couldn´t help but grumble a bit annoyed at that question.  
"Will you get scared, doctor? A grown man like you?" 

"Maybe. At least im not alone." Anders chuckled and turned his attention to the Tv then. 

They sat in silence mostly for quite a while, and both of them tried to not show they got a bit scared after all. They couldn´t risk the embarrassment.  
It was only that Anders grew very tired after a while – The whole day of working and getting up early was sitting in his bones quite a bit.  
Again he pushed a tiny bit, pulled his legs up the couch and let his head sink against Fenris´ shoulder. It was a bit bony and he expected the elf to flinch away from him.  
But the other man stayed quiet, and Anders relaxed visibly against him. 

The elf was warm, and even though his shoulder was not exactly a soft pillow, the Doctor felt comfortable like this. He could feel Fenris move a bit, and with quite a lot of hesitation, place his arm around him.  
Safe. Warm. Protected after all. 

Anders had no chance to fight his sleepiness anymore and sank into a deep, dreamless sleep after a moment. 

+~+~+~

His alarm went off at 5am like everyday. Loud and annoying, buzzing in his ears.  
Anders groaned and sat up in his bed, letting his fingers brush through his hair and blinking a few times to wake up. 

He could hear the birds singing outside already, usual busy in the early morning-hours and he could hear the sharp wind crash against his window.  
All of this really was no motivation to get up and out from his bed at all – Just that he suddenly realized something:

His Bed?  
How did he end up here? Had Fenris carried him over?  
The thought made him blush a bit, thinking that the smalled man had actually made the effort, instead of just waking him up.  
Anders rubbed his eyes and looked around. Ser Pounce-a-lot was lying next to him and was clearly still sleeping. It made the man sigh, because he assumed he was alone again. He should not have fallen asleep so quickly. Who knew when he would have a moment like this again? 

He got out of bed and walked over to his living-room – Only to find, to his surprise, that Fenris was still there.  
If Anders wasn´t sure he was awake, he would wonder if he was still dreaming.  
The elf was lying on his couch, rolled to a small ball with no blanket and no nothing. That looked highly uncomfortable and Anders felt really bad that he hadn´t offered Fenris anything to have a better nights stay... Just that he hadn´t expected the elf to stay at all, that was. 

He walked over and had a quiet look at the other man. Fenris was looking so peaceful and soft when he was sleeping. Anders could see that his breathing lifted and sank his chest calmly, and how his hair became a mess over night.  
The blond smiled and walked back to his bedroom to put a large, warm blanket over the poor elf.  
No need to wake him – He would find out alone later when he had slept a bit. 

Anders hurried to shower and get dressed, before he gave his cat a bit of dry food and wrote a message for Fenris: 

_"Hey Sleepy-head,_  
I didn´t have the heart to wake you up so damn early, but I have to go to work now.  
You can make yourself some coffee if you want to – And please pay attention that Pounce doesn´t walk out when you leave and close the door behind you! 

_Yesterday was very nice. I hope to repeat that!  
Maybe next time I buy us food? And I come to your place? How does that sound?_

_\- The one who fell asleep during a blasted Horror-movie."_

When everything was set in place, Anders packed an apple again and left for the clinic.  
It became more and more chilly outside and the leaves also started to change color. Soon Autuum would hit them and that usually meant people slipping on wet leaves and break their bones, or people catching a cold.  
Anders was not looking forward to that. 

When he walked down the way to his clinic, he checked his phone like usual and was again pretty surprised to find some messages on it. Hawke, again. 

_"Hello?"_  
_"Ah, is it that way now?"_   
_"You´re a terrible friend, Anders. Im so disapponted in you."_   
_"After all I´ve done for you, you just let me hang like this?"_   
and the very last message:  
_"Is Fenris with you, or what? Will it be like this now? Slut."_

Anders stared at his phone as if he had seen a ghost. His heart dropped in his chest and a cold shiver ran down his spine.  
He had hurt Hawke hadn´t he? He probably was a bad friend – Maybe something important had happened and he was not there for Hawke?  
The man had every right to be angry at him in that case – Even though the last bit hurt quite a bit. How did he know about Fenris anyway. 

_"Hawke, Im so sorry :( :( I had my phone on silent..! Is everything alright? Did something happen? I will come to you after Work, okay? Im sorry!"_ He wrote back. 

Hopefully he could clear this up and nobody would be left angry at anybody.  
After that shock in the early morning, the doctor finally arrived at the clinic and checked his timetable for the day.  
"Oh Justice – really..?!" The blond growled after seeing what was written down and hurried to the office of his boss. '

The door had a sign with fancy letters written on it, so everybody could see who had the most saying here directly.  
Still Anders didn´t even bother to knock as he stormed past said door, towards the desk that was waiting inside.  
"Double? Again? And a surgery? Do you think im some kind of working-machine? I need a break!" 

"Good morning, Anders." Justice greeted him, without looking up from his papers. "You had a break two days ago when you decided to not show up."  
The man was looking quite old and worked off already. Some people even said he looked like a corpse – Anders would not go this far.  
Justice was a good guy, as he tried to do good and help everybody. Just that he was strict and didn´t seem to understand the words ´break´ and ´holiday´. 

"I decided to not show up in my actual freetime, Justice..! You can´t expect that I will give up every single minute of my life!" 

"We have a mission, Anders. Do I need to remind you of that?" The old man pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he was fighting a headache already. "Im glad that.. Hawke-guy is finally off your desk. You should have more time now, no? .. Make Lirene take that surgery if you feel like you´re not capable, if its truly too much. Can´t risk a womans life because you´re tired." 

"I am not tired, thank you very much..!" Anders snapped, and turned to leave the office again.  
He was angry and offended. Had he not earned a free day in the week? He was doing so much and he was giving his last shirt.. While other doctors spend money on cars and holidays, he put everything back in the clinic.  
Was that not enough? 

The blond vanished into the doctor´s changing room and tried hard to fight back those tears that were burning behind his eyes.  
That really was a bad start into the day.  
He took a deep breath and decided to focus on his work, and later on Hawke. All would be fine, right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like after this chapter the story beginning is finally settled and we can come to the more.. interesting parts :D   
> so much for "one-shot"..   
> Thank you all for your feedback! It really keeps me writing this quickly! Let me know what you think :)

Anders had been sure, after the horrible start, that this day could not be any worse. Oh, how he had been wrong.   
After a child cried into his ears a whole hour long, a drunk man had literally puked all over his clothes. He couldn´t quite remember if that was before or after another guy, who had taken the wrong medication had tried to break his nose. 

There had been no time to eat his usual apple and even though it had hurt his ego, he truly had to give that planned surgery away. He couldn´t risk hurting his patient, just because he had a bad day. 

The only good thing this day, was a message by Fenris, who told him that Ser Pounce-a-lot had fallen asleep on top of him and had hissed angrily when the elf had tried to get up.  
Those two would never get along, which amused Anders more than it should. 

The hours passed by quickly, and when finally his working-day was over, Anders had to change and then quickly drive to Hawke´s place.   
He had promised after all! 

Even though the Doctor wished to take a shower, eat something warm and get some rest, he found himself sitting in a bus and driving down to the more richer and expensive parts of Kirkwall.   
It took him nearly an hour and the smell in that bus was so horrible, that Anders had to wonder if somebody had peed on his seat before he had entered the vehicle.   
Also the guy sitting a few seats in front of him, kept turning to him and watched him in a creepy-way. 

Anders had never been so glad to step out of that bus again, even though the outside, that was awaiting him, was very cold, dark and looking like it would rain soon.   
Hopefully Hawke could drive him home later. 

It took him another 15 minutes by foot, to reach the edge of Hawke´s Garden.   
The house was so large, that Anders would rather call it a Manor, and he knew that Garrett had inherited it from his family. After his Dad, his sister and then his Mom had died, and his little brother went to serve the Military, Garrett basically had that House for himself alone.   
The Hawke´s family story truly had never been a nice one. Some people even say the family was cursed – bullshit in Anders´ opinion, even though they truly had been very unlucky.   
He remembered the day Hawke´s mom was found liveless. Anders and all of their group of friends had taken days to just get Garrett to leave his bedroom again. It had taken another few weeks to see him smile again. Dark and hard weeks, but they had all been there for him. 

The Doc sighed as he heard faint thunder in the distance, but luckily he finally had reached the front door.   
He was nervous seeing Hawke after those angry short messages. How would the man react? He hadn´t even answered after he had written him that he would come over after work. Was Hawke at home at all? 

Telling himself that all would be fine, Anders finally rang the doorbell. And indeed it didn´t take all too long before Garrett opened the door.   
He was wearing his usual nightshirt, red and long and way too good-looking on the well trained body. But the smell of alcohol was something that Anders couldn´t quite ignore. How much had Hawke been drinking?   
"Ah. You actually came." Was the quite cold greeting, before Hawke stepped away so the other man could enter the Houase. 

"I.. yes of course, Hawke." Anders answered a bit irritated but entered the warm home anyway. "I really didn´t mean to hurt you – You should know that! I had my phone on silent that was all. Did anything happen?" 

As if the man was not hearing his words, nor his worry, Hawke simply walked lazily over to his kitchen and asked:   
"Do you want something to drink?" 

That was typical. The blond knew that Hawke loved to let him bath in guilt before he finally forgave him. This was not the first time this happened.   
So Anders gave into his destiny and simply followed the dark-haired on his way to the other room.   
"Yes, please. But nothing too strong, okay? I have to work tomorrow." 

Again ignoring what the Doctor had said, Hawke shoved some kind of strong-smelling whiskey into Anders´ palm, before he poured himself another glas and drank from it.   
"So... Why was your phone on silent? You never do this." He stated, looking at Anders, who was drinking slowly from his glas and coughing because the drink was so strong, before he put it away again.

"I was.. just busy." The man lied between coughing. Damn this liquid was burning away his insides. How could Hawke drink this? But to be fair, since he was working for Justice he barely drank anything more than a beer in the week. He simply had no time anymore. For nothing! That he was here at all was stealing away the little hours he had before he started working again. 

"Busy, hm? You mean you were with Fenris?" Hawke growled, putting his glas away and slowly stepping closer to Anders. "I saw you two leave the Hanged Man together two days ago. And I know that Fenris told Isabela that he´s seeing you now. Is that how it´s going to be from now on? I didn´t want you, so you just jump to the next guy who is willing to take you? Fenris of all people!" He hissed and did a step forward that was so sudden, that Anders backed away from him and hit the wall behind him.   
"He is bad for you, Anders! He´s an.. abusive, lying Elf. You, of all people, should know how he treated you! How mean he had been to you! God, he hates you! Do you think this suddenly changes?! He´s playing a little game with you. Really Anders – Im your friend and I am worried." 

The blond swallowed and felt sick to the stomach, as he caught himself thinking how much Hawke´s words sounded like a lie. Like _he_ was the one who was abusing him here for his own will.   
Anders wasn´t angry though. He understood that the other man was probably hurt and irritated, and maybe he was worried after all.   
"He changed, Hawke. I think he is having no plan. Im not even sure if this would work at all! I saw him twice and im still not sure what I want from this either – So give us time? ..I.. Thank you for your worry, Hawke, but im perfectly capable to take care of myself." 

Hawke again leashed forward and placed his hands left and right of Anders´ head, leaning so close that the other man could feel his breath brush against his face.   
"I fear you´re not capable at all. Be honest here Anders – When was the last time you´ve eaten? Or slept long enough to be rested? You should trust _me_ and not someone who claimed to hate you just days ago." He growled, reaching for Anders´ chin and forcing it towards him. 

It was a rough grip, not gentle nor slow, with which Hawke pulled the man to him and pressed his lips forcefully against the doctors.   
Anders yelped and shuddered, trying to push Hawke away in sheer panic of this sudden violent action.   
This was not what he had imagined a kiss with Hawke would be. All rough lips and the bitter taste of alcohol. His grip was hurting him and he was scared about what would happen next.   
When he had dreamed of Hawke kissing him, it was romantic and soft. The man would have had wrapped his arms around him and pressed him against the wide chest with gentle care. He would have asked him to kiss him! Not.. not this.   
Anders thought that Hawke was probably only doing this because he was a bit drunk – He would not hurt him like this if he was clear in his head, right? 

When he finally managed to push the man away, Anders slipped away under his arms and raised his finger in anger.   
"No, Hawke! You´re with Cullen, this is not right!" 

"Ah come one!" Garrett huffed irritated and crossed his arms. "He mustn´t know and-" 

"NO, Hawke." Anders said again, this time more loudly, "You´re drunk, you don´t know what you´re talking about there. I should better leave now." 

That was basically the last drop that Hawke had needed to be now completely pissed off. Because instead of, at least, just letting him go, he yelled at the doctor how _he_ was the one who had lost his mind, how he would see that Fenris would break his heart and that he should not come crying to him when that happened. He also yelled how he didn´t want to see him anymore and literally kicked him out of his house. 

The blond could not believe what just had happened, when he found himself outside again and the door was slammed shut behind him.   
Oh, this must all be a bad dream, right? No, Anders told himself, Hawke had been angry and drunk. He would apologize later, like he always did. He didn´t mean the words he had said and that kiss...   
That kiss had been a mistake. Tomorrow he would have a short-message that would tell him how Hawke was sorry. Yes, like that it would be. 

Anders took a deep breath to keep himself from tearing up, before he started walking towards the next busstop.   
It was even darker outside than it had been before, and he needed to light his phone up to even see the busplan.   
He had already feared that, but it was true that no bus was driving home anymore during that time. He was stuck here and he could not go back to Hawke.   
What should he do? It was way too cold to sleep on the street, and he was tired and hungry.   
The next bus would only come in the morning and he had no money left for a taxi. 

Anders swore that he would tell Justice tomorrow, to let him keep more money at the end of the month. Charity yes and good, but that he, a doctor, could not even affort a damn taxi at the end of a month...   
He reached for his phone again and called the only option that seemed reasonable right now. 

Fenris was living not far away from Hawke´s place. When he had joined their little group of Friends he was basically homeless. Varric had taken care that he got a proper place to stay, and since that dwarf seemed to know every landlord in Kirkwall, it was no problem to find him a place to stay.   
Now the elf even had a little income, that would saving him enough to buy food and the one or the other luxery thing. Still he would have it better, if he would find some work. 

"Hello..? Anders?" Answered the sleepy-sounding voice of Fenris after a while. 

"Oh, thank god you answered your phone..!" The doctor sniffed, trying hard to not cry out of sheer despair he was feeling at the moment, "I know its late but.. Can you come get me? There is no Bus driving me home anymore. I.. was at Hawkes place." He added with a bit of hesitation, "We had a fight and he kicked me out. I can´t go home anymore and I don´t know what to do." 

"Stay where you are, I come over. Are you standing by the Busstop? Hightown, yes? I try to hurry." And with that Fenris hung up already. 

Anders laughed a bit, because he couldn´t believe how absurd this was. Hawke, who claimed to be his friend and had warned him of abusive Fenris, had left him in this horrible situation, while Fenris now hurried to pick him up. 

Still, from the beginning to this point, the day was terrible.   
"At least it can´t get worse.." Anders muttered to himself, and as if somebody had heard him, it suddenly started raining a whole lot. Like somebody emptied a bucket over his head and there was no way to protect himself from it. No tree, no nothing.   
Again Anders had to laugh and this time a few tears escaped his eyes, that luckily were not to be seen in the pouring rain. 

+~+~+~+

After maybe twenty minutes there was a little moped driving down the street and stopped by the Busstation called Hightown.   
The moped truly had seen better days, but it was at least quicker than walking by foot. 

Fenris looked at the completely drenched doctor, who tried his best to smile at him when he saw him, and quickly reached for the other helmed he had taken with him.   
"Here, put that on and sit on the back. Wrap your arms around me and hold tight, okay? I drive you to my place. .. You´re drenched, by the way." 

"Oh thank you for telling me that! I would not have known." Anders huffed as raindrops dripped down his nose.   
He put the helmet on and at least was glad that now his head was protected from the never-stopping rain, as he sat down on behind Fenris on the moped.   
He wrapped his arms around the other mans middle and yelped a bit as the elf, without warning, started to drive and turn a circle, until they were driving down the road. 

To be fair, the moped was really a terrible and a slow thing. Anders feared it would break apart under them as they drove the whole twenty minutes to Fenris´ apartment.   
And as he finally could get off it again, and hurry into the insides of the elf´s home, he swore to never get on that thing so quickly again. He liked his bones as they were. 

He was so busy thinking about the scare that this thing had given him, that he needed a moment to realize he had never visited Fenris.   
Dripping down the floor with rainwater, Anders looked around and found that it was surprisingly... messy here. There was old package material lying around everywhere, as much as old newspapers that nobody was reading anymore. He could clearly see that the bookshelves were very dusty and this apartment needed a window that was open as well – the air inside was really bad.   
Anders sighed, thinking that Fenris´ mental state kept him from cleaning up. He had seen this often in his clinic. If only that stubborn elf would let him help! 

"Hey?" Fenris waved a hand in front of his face, "Are you listening? You´re making everything all wet. Here are dry clothes for you – Come on, get changed and dry your hair. Put the wet clothes.. eh.. wherever is space." With that the elf handed him a shirt and some loose pants.   
Anders blinked because he had actually not been listening and now stood there with a bunch of dry clothes in his hand.   
"Ah yes – Thank you. Im sorry... It had been kind of a hard day." He apologized, and walked over to the bathroom, that Fenris had shown him then. 

The bathroom was as dirty as the rest of the apartment, and after Anders had changed into the clothes, he realized that those were way too small for him.   
His bum was literally eating the pants and the shirt left a bit of his belly free. The blond looked at himself in the bathroom-mirror and smirked about how ridiculous this was.   
He was far away from home, dressed in too small clothes, Hawke was angry at him, and he would probably be late tomorrow for work.. Also, he had no chance to feed poor Ser Pounce-a-lot now! 

Anders looked at the door, but hesitated to step out. Would Fenris laugh about him? Would he be angry when he told him of what had happened at Hawkes place?   
Maybe the elf was annoyed with him that he had to get him so late in the evening? 

The blond sighed about the mess that was his life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im a bit unsure about this chapter. Wrote itself a bit less nicely than usual - Let me know what you think! 
> 
> ~ smut warning for anybody who is not into that! ~  
> Have fun!

After Anders had thrown his wet clothes over the opened door, he finally stepped out and tried to, at least, pull the short shirt more down before he entered the living-room.   
Fenris was already sitting on his couch, controller of his playstation in hand – One of the gifts that Hawke had given him so he wouldn´t be so bored over the day – and that weird space-RPG started. 

When he paused the game and looked up, his face turned into something that showed that he was trying not to laugh.   
"You´re... looking good, doctor." 

"Haha, very funny you genius." Anders huffed and quickly sat down next to the other man. "Your clothes are obviously too small for me. Its not like I can help that. At least my bum looks really good in those pants."   
Fenris smirked a bit, but turned his attention back to his TV.   
"So.. Hawke kicked you out? In the middle of the night?" He then asked carefully. 

"I.. yes." The blond sighed and brushed his, still somewhat, wet hair back and away from his face. Now that he was sitting he felt how tired he was, and how hungry as well. He also felt bad that he couldn´t even feed his cat today and that Justice would be angry at him in the morning. Also that Hawke had been so angry with him.. What a mess this day was. Anders was glad it would be over soon.   
"I said something wrong, and Hawke was a bit drunk. I think he will apologize in the morning for this." It was a half-lie, but he really had no intention to tell Fenris about the kiss. What good would that do? It would only be irritating for both of them to bring this up again. 

"Why are you defending him, when he did something bad to _you?"_ , Fenris asked and paused his game again to look at Anders. "You need to stop that. Everytime Hawke does something bad you find excuses for him. He´s my friend as well and I owe him a lot, but that doesn´t mean he can do whatever he wants. .. Or are you still running after him? He´s with Cullen. Forget him." 

Anders felt like the elf´s words were a slap in the face and for a moment he was quiet and unable to answer this.   
Yes, Fenris was probably right. He was always finding excuses, but he usually did that with everybody. Well, with everybody that he counted a friend. And Hawke was doing good things as well – Why should he make a drama, when he would probably regret everything in the morning anyway?   
But it did raise the question if Anders was still hoping he would end up with Hawke one day. Would he? Could he?   
He looked at Fenris and remembered again how Hawke had kissed him. It had been so uncomfortable and brutal.. There was nothing nice about it, and even yet Anders still felt somewhat violated. Does he want to be with a man, who did such things when he had drunk a little?   
Anders´ heart ached, because even though his head was screaming "No!" when he asked himself that, his heart was still trying to tell him something else.   
Also now that he was sitting here with Fenris there was another question to answer, that he didn´t even dare to phrase just yet. 

"So.. you´re over him?" The doctor simply asked back in return, well aware of Fenris´ feelings towards Hawke. 

".. There will always be a part of me that wonders." Fenris shrugged, "But, as I said, I have turned my attention.. elsewhere." 

Anders couldn´t help but chuckle about that and smile amused. "You´re a weird, weird elf, Fenris. I still don´t understand what you want from me." 

But that little laugh died quickly on the mans lips, as Fenris suddenly leaned forward and, to answer that question, pressed his lips nearly shyly against Anders´.   
It was as sudden and unexpected as it had been with Hawke, but Fenris´ lips were not pressed roughly against him and forced him to hold still - no, Fenris´ lips were soft and chaste, as if asking, instead of demanding something. 

Just as quickly as that innocent kiss had happened, it was over again and Anders could see that Fenris´ ears had gained a light pink color to them. The elf even avoided to look him in the eyes afterwards and cleared his throat.   
"I think that should answer the question." The white-haired mumbled and turned away. 

Anders was staring blankly at the elf, who so casually turned away and kept shooting with his.. Sheploo-guy as if nothing had happened.   
"Are you serious?!" The doctor barked loudly then, still in shock, and he could see how Fenris shrinked a bit in his seat and his ears flopped a bit down.   
"You..! You silly..! You damn...!" Anders had no words, and no idea what he was doing here. Why was he angry? No, he wasn´t angry – He was confused. This was one confusing kiss too much for one, bad, day. 

"How dare you?" Anders growled again, and since Fenris decided to not react to his anger-outburst, he simply reached for the elf´s face and turned it to him again, before he pressed his lips back on the other man´s mouth.   
If anybody could just kiss him without a warning – so could he. He wasn´t as gentle as Fenris had been before, using all desperate tongue and teeth and keeping the other man close to him, by wrapping his arms around his neck.   
To Anders´ relieve, Fenris, who had tensed at first, relaxed visibly after a moment and pulled the other man on his lap. Like this it was much more comfortable and without weird turning of necks and heads.   
Anders felt his heart beat wildly in his chest, and pressed against Fenris like this, he could feel that the elfs heart was beating in union with his own. He could taste the mans tongue against his own, feel his breath on his skin and his soft lips again brush over him ever so gently. It was a bit clumsy and wet, and frankly Anders had better kisses in his life, but he would not change this for anything in the world.   
Thinking that only a week ago they had still been bitching at each other, this was the most exciting thing the doctor had done in a long, way too long, time. 

The sound of Game Over came from the TV as the elf´s avatar had died, but Fenris payed no attention to it. The controller had slide down somewhere anyway.   
His hands were stroking the blond´s back up and down, feeling the warmth under his fingers, while the man wiggled so very sexily on his lap.   
What was happening? So quick.. It was nearly too much, and Fenris broke the kiss way.   
"Are you... always that sudden?" He panted, catching his breath and looking at the blond´s kiss swollen lips with lots of interest. 

When the kiss was broken, Anders finally felt like his senses were coming back to him. That had indeed been a bit sudden, and for a moment the blond needed to remind himself how he had ended up on the other ones lap again.   
He laughed somewhat embarrassed and felt the heat crawl to his face. "That.. was not exactly planned. But you ignored me..!" He tried defend his action. 

"Ah..? Maybe I should ignore you more often in future." 

"Don´t you dare..!"   
There was laughing, and Anders was surprised to realize he hadn´t heard Fenris laugh in quite a while. The elf was usually more the serious kind, and it was touching to see that he started to relax around him and let his guard down a bit. 

"I should.." Anders mumbled a bit awkwardly and tried to slide off Fenris´ lap, but the man held him in place then. 

"I wouldn´t mind if you stayed where you are." 

Anders swallowed when he heard those words. Was he ready for that? Was it even, what he thought, that Fenris meant?   
Mostly he was tired and hungry and he feared they were doing this too quickly.   
But before he could even properly think this through Fenris was kissing him again, and all of the blond´s doubts were gone directly. 

Melting against the elf again, Anders couldn´t even say how long they were just sitting there, kissing. All time was lost on him, and even as Fenris grabbed him and turned them around, so Anders was lying on his back on the sofa, with the elf above him, happened as if he was in some kind of a trance.   
He could feel Fenris´ hand sliding under his, way too small, shirt and rubbing over his chest, making him moan softly against the ever present lips against his mouth.   
Maybe this day wasn´t so bad after all. 

Anders willingly opened his legs when Fenris was trying to lie between them, pushing the shirt up and finally letting go of his lips. Anders thought amused to himself that Fenris had probably kissed him silly at this point, and that that was the reason he was so willingly melting under the other man.   
He could feel kisses against his neck and collarbone, then his chest and his navel. There was a warm, wet tongue trailing over and into his belly-button, making the blond doctor shiver and gasp.   
Anders only looked up and then down from his position, when he could feel Fenris fumbling for his pants, probably in an attempt to push them down. 

_Oh yes.._ was all Anders´ mind crossed the moment his erection sprang free, with one long push of pants and underwear all at once. He would have never thought it would look so erotic seeing Fenris hovering over his hard-member, pressing a feather-light kiss to it, that made Anders hiss in pleasure.   
Oh, all of this was happening so quickly that he couldn´t even believe his luck. He wanted to feel that wet, warm mouth on him then and there. He couldn´t wait, and reached for Fenris´ head, rubbing one long ear between his fingers.   
"Please.." He caught himself whimpering. 

He saw Fenris´ smirk and he saw him opening his mouth, making his toes curl in excitement about what would follow -   
When his phone started ringing.   
No no no. This was the worst timing. Anders groaned annoyed when Fenris looked up and took his head away from him. 

"Shit is that yours or mine?" The doctor grumbled, already knowing that it was his. And also knowing if this was Justice, it was probably an emergency. The actual reason, why he usually never had his phone on silent. 

Fenris huffed and looked puzzled about what to do, as he was still sitting between Anders´ legs. 

"Im sorry.." The doctor sighed and got up then. "It could be an emergency. Damn this is the worst timing."   
As he tried to push his pants up, his cock did an awkward bob, making him hiss and hope it would calm down a bit as soon as he had reached the phone.   
He stumbled back to the bathroom, where his normal clothes were hanging, in an attempt to quickly reach his old Nokia. 

"Yes?! Bad fucking timing!" He hissed into the phone as soon as he had the chance.

"Where are you, Anders?" It was indeed Justice. The old man had a nose for the worst opportunities to disturb him. "I tried reaching you at home, but nobody was picking up." 

Anders really couldn´t be angry at the man, thinking that he probably had just been worried. After all he usually was at home this time of the night, and since he had no freetime, there was only a small chance he was at the Hanged Man. 

"I.. yes. I am not at home. I´m at Fenris´ place." The blond sighed, still sounding angry, but trying to calm down. "What is it, Justice? I really, really have no time right now. There is.. important business I need to.. eh.. talk about with Fenris." 

"Business?" He could hear Justice groan at the other end of the line. The man was no fool after all. "Listen – Somebody hacked the manifesto website. Everything is gone – all files and comments are deleted. I assume it must be some of those Church Activists. You know, the kind who would fight over their believes.." 

Shit. Yes, indeed he had seen those on the news. After he and Justice had raised some attention to the issues that were happening within the chuches politics, they had make some people start groups to turn the bad image around again. A guy called Sebastian and a woman named Patrice were the worst of them.   
Anders would not be surprised if they are behind that attack. But his data was save. He could re-upload everything within a few hours. 

"Its fine, Justice. Annoying, but fine. I will upload everything to a different server tomorrow. .. Yes, tomorrow. I told you I am busy right now. .. No, really I can´t drive home and do this now. Gosh, give me a moment of freetime I-" While he was still having that discussion about when to fix the damage that was done, Fenris snapped the mobile out of Anders´ hand and hung up. 

"Sorry, didn´t mean to pry on what you were talking about, but you were pretty loud. Don´t let your boss push more work on you. Not today, okay..? Did he even ask how you are? I could have kidnapped and beaten you up, you know?" Fenris said and reached then for Anders´ hand to pull the perplexed man back to the living-room. 

Actually Anders should be angry that Fenris had simply took his phone and canceled the talk. But right now he was simply thankful that he didn´t need to discuss this any further with Justice.   
"You´re a bad, bad elf, I know. A weird and a bad one." He joked, "You´re mostly keeping me from work right now." 

"Oh bad me – Taking a bit of your 24/7 working that doesn´t let you have even a bit of freedom." Fenris rolled his eyes, "I swear that Boss of yours is a demon." 

"Justice is not a demon! .. He worries. He´s kind." He quickly defended the man. 

"Then he is kind to everybody but you!" Fenris snarled, "He can´t expect this. You need a break.."   
The elf sat down, and pulled Anders back on his lap. "Im going to make you relax now.. Lets not talk about that demon of yours." 

"He´s not- ah!" Anders gasped and clawed on Fenris´ shoulders, as the elf simply reached back into his pants and wrapped his palm around his still hard member. "This is unfair.." 

"Im not known to play fair." The white-haired whispered into his ear, starting to pump the hot flesh in his hand and rubbing his thumb over the slit whenever he had the chance. 

"Hnng.. Fenris please. I can´t keep that for long. It had been a while since I – hah..!" With a bit of shame Anders had to hide his face against the other mans neck, even though that meant he had to bend down awkwardly since he was much taller.   
He knew he was already close. The idea of Fenris sucking him off, and the mans hand on his cock was already enough to nearly push him over the edge. It was a bit embarrassing. 

"You don´t even have time to pleasure yourself?" Fenris asked surprised, thinking that this would explain why the man looked like he would burst any second now. 

"Can we.. can we not talk about this now?" Anders panted, bucking his hips up a bit, feeling really ashamed that he was so easily hot and bothered. He really should use his own hand more to avoid such a show.   
And Fenris actually was mercifull then and there, simply putting all his focus on how to pleasure Anders the best way possible. It wasn´t his mouth, but the way he moved his hands, putting pressure just on the right spots and making him actually feel like he was thrusting into something warm and tight – It was too much. After a short while already Anders yelped the elf´s name and could feel the hot liquid run all over himself and the hand that was still wrapped around him.   
"Oh god, this was too quick.." Anders admitted quietly and looked around of there were tissues somewhere around here. 

"Tsk, don´t apologize for that, doc." Fenris rolled his eyes and reached for some tissus behind the couch to clean them up. 

"You keep tissues there?" Anders smirked amused, "So, I dont need to ask if you have time to pleasure yourself, hm?" 

Fenris grumbled and gave Anders a tiny push, so he would fall off his lap and onto the couch.   
"Shepard is hot, okay?" He joked, nodding at his Tv, which made Anders laugh all happily.   
Really, as bad as this day had started, this was the best possible end. 

The couch was large enough that they could comfortably lie next to each other, and that was exactly what Fenris did then, as he lay down beside the other man.   
Anders reached for the waist-band of his pants as well, as a silent offering, because he didn´t want to have all the fun alone – But Fenris put his hand away then and shook his head.   
"It´s fine." He said, "Not today, okay? We.. uhm.. this was a bit quick. I need more time." 

Anders´ eyes went wide, suddenly worried he had overstepped a line here.   
"Was this too much? You didn´t needed to..! Really a few minutes in the bathroom and I would have not-"   
"I said its fine." The elf rolled his eyes again. "I wanted this. I pulled you to me, didn´t I? I just don´t need you to.. do anything to me, okay?" He sat up a bit again, but only to reach for a blanket that lay close by and pulled it over them.   
".. I assume you stay here tonight..?" Fenris asked shyly then. 

It was odd to lie next to the elf. It was odd that his bed seemed to be the couch. Anders was missing Ser Pounce-a-lot´s presents and that flat still had a weird smell to it. But the most odd was, that he felt perfectly comfortable like this.   
It was warm and Fenris was close. No matter that his Manifesto-blog was hacked. No matter that Hawke was angry at him. And Justice.. and Pounce probably too.   
He was save and the world outside didn´t matter for now. That was a feeling Anders had missed and longed to feel again in quite a while.   
Only that he had imagined that Hawke would give it to him. 

"Good night Fenris." The blond answered simply and shuffled closer to the other man, so he could put an arm around him. "Thank you for saving me today.."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter to channel over for the next bigger one :D No really there are things planned.   
> (Writing is also 10Times harder when you actually have freetime - that writing paradox)

Glorious sleep. When was the last time he slept so long? Anders felt like his brain was covered in lovely cotton, when he was woken up by his Nokia ringing.   
It was not the alarm, nor was it a call – It was a text-message. 

The blond streched on the large couch and yawned happily, before he reached for the mobile on the table.   
The text was by Isabela. 

_"Hey lovely-bum! Im celebrating my birthday tomorrow – You comming? Come to that Club ´Deep Roads´ at 11pm. I know the DJ!!!! ;P"_

Anders sighed quietly and put the phone away again. He had no time for that. Like, at all. He didn´t even dare to have a look at the clock. He was way too late, he knew that.   
But turning a bit, he knew why it was worth every minute. 

Fenris was still sleeping next to him, breathing deeply and peacfully, eyes closed and mouth a tiny bit open.   
The elf was snoring a bit, who would have guessed?   
Anders smiled happily as he reached out and let his fingers go through that soft white hair – Careful to not wake the elf up.   
Fenris was looking so much younger, so much more relaxed when he was sleeping. So much more handsome than he was already.. 

Anders thought of yesterday and how Fenris didn´t want him to repay the favor. The doctor found that quite odd and wondered if they had done this too fast in the first place. He didn´t blame the elf for not wanting to jump right into this, but...   
Anders only knew little of the elf´s past.   
He knew that Fenris had worked as a bodyguard for one of the Mafia-Bosses that were working and ruling over there in Tevinter. What that meant was pretty clear: Not only had Fenris probably already killed someone in his life, but everybody knew that the elves over there in Tevinter weren´t there on their own free will. It was literally slave trade going on over there and policts couldn´t do anything against it. 

Anders had treated some elves from Tevinter in the clinic already. Some guys and some girls – All were in a very bad shape, all had worked for the Mafia and managed to flee. They had all been pretty, but that was probably a terrible thing when you were foced to live in Tevinter. Anders was pretty sure they had all been working as prostitutes. The wounds had spoken a clear language.   
Given how Fenris had not wanted him to touch him yesterday, Anders could only wonder if bodyguard wasn´t the only work the poor elf had to do in his past. It wouldn´t surprise him. 

"Im not your cat to be petted, you know?" The elf´s voice suddenly ripped him from his thoughts and Anders quickly pulled his hand back. How long had Fenris been awake? 

"Sorry. I was in thought." The doctor apologized and sat up, rubbing his face to become more awake. 

"About what?" The question sounded somewhat worried, but Fenris probably was assuming that Hawke had messaged him already. 

"Oh, no no don´t worry. Isabela asked to come and celebrate her birthday." Anders explained, reached for his phone and showed Fenris the message, "I assume you will be there, right? I.. don´t think I have time for that. Justice will tear open my bum today already. Im too late." 

Fenris rolled his eyes at the man, before he climbed over him and off the couch.   
"You will go to that birthday. Really your demon of a boss can´t deny you your freetime. And now we will have breakfast and then I drive you home." That were his last words before he vanished into the kitchen. 

"Bit bossy aren´t we?!" Anders called after the elf, sounding annoyed. In reality though, he was glad that he had somebody who would take care of his other needs. It was true that Anders had been very unhappy those last months with his working situation. He lost weight, and he had lost some hair. He couldn´t keep this much work up for long, but Justice wouldn´t listen to him.   
If only, on top of him being late today, the data of his blog wasn´t deleted as well. That only meant more work for him. 

Fenris returned with two bowls that were filled with milk and cornflakes. The doctor didn´t even want to think too closely on how unhealthy those were, since he was so hungry that he barely cared. Maybe a bit of sugar would do him some good anyway.   
Fenris sat down next to him and turned on the Tv, as he slurped his own cornflakes pretty happily. 

It was weird to sit here like that, eating cornflakes and enjoying a casual morning together. A few weeks ago this would not have been possible. If anybody would have told him that they could just sit together without bitching at each other, he would have laughed at them. 

The Tv showed them the early morning-news and they watched in silence as the Tv-Host told them about the newest messages from Seheron, that was a war-zone with Tevinter at the moment. Like usual the Channel tried its best to only show the most heartbreaking pictures of little Qunari-children and ice-cold Tevinter soldiers. Anders felt sick thinking how media tried to manipulate them into thinking there was such a thing as a good- and a bad-side in this war. Mostly only because the Free Marches had a trade-contact with Seheron and the economics were suffering under the new War.   
All a bunch of bullshit, Anders thought to himself. 

After that the Tv-Host started to talk about the Church and how they helped the poor and suffering. Again Anders could only roll his eyes about that, even though he was a bit proud about the fact that those news only found a place there at all, because he and his underground-organisation did good work to dirty the Churches Image.   
There was an Interview with Mother Patrice, that made the doctor snort in amusement. 

"... The war is nothing the Church supports, even though there is a need to put everybody in their place. We understand there are Refugees, but after the Blight we still have to take care of others. There is no place here for the Qunari." The Mother said, with a fake smile on her lips. 

"Ah, yes the fucking Blight! All lies. The reason they´re not taking care is because they´re all a bunch of racist bastards." Anders ranted loudly, shaking his head in disbelieve. After that horrible sickness had started spreading in Ferelden, many people had left the country and started to find a save-place somewhere else. Even though this now was many years ago, there were still people who suffered under the circumstances. And yes, it was true that space was limited – But did that mean they could just turn people in need away? No, of course not. The Church was simply not ready to help anybody that wasn´t human. 

Fenris turned the TV off then and raised an eyebrow at Anders.   
"And you know that because...?" He wondered, "This is none of your business, Anders. Try to focus on yourself. Keep your head low, or you will be in serious trouble someday." The elf was well-aware how Anders tried to underrun the Church on his own. He found that silly and also actually feared that Anders put himself in danger there. 

"I have information." The blond huffed annoyed and put the empty bowl away. "And frankly, what I do is none of _your_ business." 

The elf got up then and growled angrily and pretty much offended about that answer. He reached for his jacket and pointed to the door.   
"Get ready I bring you home now." He hissed coldly, not looking at the other man anymore. If this was none of his business, he should probably not care, Fenris thought to himself. 

Anders sighed heavily. Now this had gone pretty much wrong. He really shouldn´t have commented on those news to beginn with. Usually nobody understood his matter.   
"Listen Fenris, I didn´t mean to-" 

"No, I said get dressed. I won´t discuss this further." The elf interrupted his speech. 

Anders got up and walked over to this clothes, shaking his head annoyed about the stubborn elf.   
"Okay, if we now start to discuss everything together – Why don´t we start with your anxiety? I know you´re feeling very bad, and that you need to see a doctor about this." 

"Oh, shut up I don´t need this." Fenris huffed, fumbling for his keys and his jacket. 

"Yes you do. I happen to be a doctor, you damn stubborn elf. If you want to get into my private business, so I will get into yours. And to be honest: Im worried about you." The last bit came out much less annoyed, but rather tender, which made Fenris´ expression go soft as well again. 

"... Lets bring you home, doctor." Fenris chose to still avoid answering, but much more gentle now.   
It seemed like both of them were not all too eager to argue this out at the moment. Maybe they had just fought enough the last months, that they had no energy left to do so now.   
Or both of the topics were indeed so private and deep, that both would rather shut up than discuss this any further. 

+~+~+~+

Fenris had driven him home with that terrible Mofa of his. Anders, again, had send a few last prayers up to heaven, because around every corner this Mofa seem to be falling apart. It was a miracle they actually reached his home. 

Ser Pounce-a-lot was pretty much offended that Anders had not been there to feed him yesterday, so he just watched his human from the top of the fridge and only came down to eat his, very late, food. 

Anders then quickly changed his clothed, and after Fenris had insisted to also drive him to his clinic, he found himself in front of his working-place not much later. 

"Try to not let Justice bully you too much." The Tevinter mumbled then, looking a bit awkward about standing here and saying goodbye. "And think of the Birthday – If you don´t come I will get you." 

"Still bossy, I see. I wonder if I should be afraid of Justice or of you. You´re both incredible." Anders smiled, looked around if nobody was close and then simply leaned closer to Fenris to press a gentle kiss against his lips. 

That had been more than worth it, because the elf´s ears twitched in surprise and his cheeks had taken a nice red-ish color. 

"See you tomorrow then. ..And thank you for driving me." Anders winked and quickly turned away to hurry inside then. He still could hear Fenris mumble a raspy ´goodbye´ to him, which made the Doctor smile. It felt like a success that he could make the elf blush and stutter like that.   
Maybe he really, honestly liked him after all...


End file.
